Tuesday, December 12, 2017


Hanukkah begins tonight!!

Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights, dates back to 167 BCE. The story is based largely of legend, as few historical details remain.

At the time, the Jews were living in Israel, under the control of the Syrian-Greek king Antiochus Epiphanes. Antiochus' reign brought with it a violent attempt to force the Jews in the kingdom to assimilate to Greek cultural norms. The breaking point came in 165 BCE, when Antiochus placed an altar to Zeus in the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. A group of brothers, called the Maccabees, led a revolt against Antiochus and liberated the temple, getting rid of the idols that Antiochus had installed there.

When the Maccabees took the temple, they cleansed it, building a new altar to replace the old one. The menorah was to be lit and stay lit continuously through the night, but there was only enough olive oil to last a single day. Miraculously, the single day's worth of oil burned over the course of 8 days, long enough for new oil to be brought to the temple so the menorah could stay lit, and the temple was rededicated to Judaism.

Upon the temple's rededication, the Maccabees decided to celebrate (belatedly) the harvest festival of Sukkot; due to Antiochus' having defiled the temple, the temple had been unusable for that year's Sukkot. They then instituted an annual winter holiday to commemorate the rededication of the temple and the miracle of the oil. The oil plays a big role in the traditional foods of Hanukkah; foods cooked in oil (often olive oil, but chicken fat in parts of Eastern Europe where olives were hard to come by) are a major part of the celebration. A mainstay of Hanukkah food is the latke (a potato pancake fried in oil).


6 large potatoes, peeled
1 heaping tablespoon baking powder
1/2 c. flour
Vegetable oil

If you use a grater rub the potatoes on the smallest (diamond-like) points.  It is easier to use a food processor.  Process them until they are mushy, but not creamy, with no chunks of potato left. Add baking powder & flour & mix well with a spoon.  The most important thing about these latkes is how they are cooked.  Put about 1/4" of oil in large cast iron (or other heavy) pan & preheat it.  It is the right temperature when a very slight amount of the potatoes on the edge a spoon will sizzle when dipped into the oil.  Spoon 1/3 to 1/2 cup for each latke into the oil making sure the sides do not touch.  Fry about 5 minutes per side over medium heat.  Test for doneness by lifting one edge of a latke to look at it.  (I don't know why, but that's what my grandmother told me.  I don't think she knew why, either.) Do not turn over until brown.  Latkes should be turned over only once.  Drain on cake rack or paper towels.  Keep in 140 degree oven until you are finished.  Serve plain or topped with sour cream and/or applesauce.
 I have no idea how many latkes this makes but extra ones store very well in the freezer.  Reheat in a 350° oven, fry or even microwave.  (Nuking makes them less crisp.)


The dreidel is a Jewish variant on the teetotum, a gambling toy found in many European cultures. Each side of the dreidel bears a letter of the Hebrew alphabet: נ‎ (Nun), ג‎ (Gimel), ה‎ (He), ש‎ (Shin), which together form the acronym for "נס גדול היה שם‎" (Nes Gadol Hayah Sham – "a great miracle happened there").

Playing with the dreidel is a traditional Hanukkah game played in Jewish homes all over the world, and rules may vary. Here’s how to play the basic dreidel game:
1. Any number of people can take part.
2. Each player begins the game with an equal number of game pieces (about 10-15) such as pennies, nuts, chocolate chips, raisins, matchsticks, etc.
3. At the beginning of each round, every participant puts one game piece into the center “pot.” In addition, every time the pot is empty or has only one game piece left, every player should put one in the pot.
4. Every time it’s your turn, spin the dreidel once. Depending on the side it lands on, you give or get game pieces from the pot. For those who don’t read Hebrew, some dreidels also feature a transliteration of each letter. If yours doesn’t, use the photo below as a cheat sheet:

a) Nun means “nisht” or “nothing.” The player does nothing.
b) Gimel  means “gantz” or “everything.” The player gets everything in the pot.
c) Hey means “halb” or “half.” The player gets half of the pot. (If there is an odd number of pieces in the pot, the player takes half of the total plus one).
d) Shin (outside of Israel) means “shtel” or “put in.” Peh (in Israel) also means “put in.” The player adds a game piece to the pot.

5. If you find that you have no game pieces left, you are either “out” or may ask a fellow player for a “loan.”
6. When one person has won everything, that round of the game is over.

You might be interested in this.

A word of advice; don't give it----fishducky



Monday, December 11, 2017


I can roll my eyes like this:

(Reworked from a 2013 post.)

"I don't know what the big deal is about edible underwear. You wear them a couple of days, they taste just like the other ones."--Tom Arnold

Two true stories (& one joke):

Do you remember pressure cookers?  They were heavy pots that cooked things quickly by steam pressure & had a little vent on the top where the pressure gauge was.  My mother once redecorated our kitchen with one!  Well, not intentionally; she was making split pea soup & had to leave the house because of an emergency & when she returned the kitchen ceiling had been thoroughly split pea souped!!  It had blown the gauge off & shot up through the steam vent.  I don't remember what we had for dinner that night, but it sure wasn't split pea soup!! During the days of wringer washing machines & before garbage disposers, we found a bag of potato peels in the washer.  I guess it stopped by to visit the laundry on its way out to the trash.

A friend of mine was living in an apartment in New York City & was having some friends over for a party.  She had made a bunch of hors d'oeuvres & baked & frosted a cake. She left all this food on the kitchen counter to cool while she went to take a shower.  When she got out of the shower she heard her phone (which was in the kitchen) ringing.  She ran in, naked, to answer it.  It had started raining--hard--while she was showering & the rain was blowing in through an open window--& a dirty window screen--& covering her party food.  She answered the phone & told them to hang on while she climbed up on the counter to close the window.  That is to say, she tried to climb up on the counter, which was wet, & she slipped. She landed on the food.  She finally closed the window & picked up the phone.  She spent several minutes sobbing & saying that she had fallen on her food & now she had to take another shower & that her guests were coming in a few minutes & she had no idea what she would serve them & now the party was ruined, while the caller was making sympathetic noises. She asked, "What should I do?"  The caller said that he had no idea--& that he thought he had reached a wrong number!  She pitifully asked why he had listened to her long diatribe & he said, "You sounded so sad--I didn't have the heart to interrupt you!"

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, & none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all & we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75 year old man in the front row raised his hand, & softly asked, "Wedding cake?"

Sign in a restaurant; “Shoes are required to eat here. Socks can eat any place they want.”
More don't-eats:

Your pizza need more pop?
Try topping it with deep fried corn dogs!

Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich
This artery-clogger features a fried chicken patty topped with Swiss cheese all tucked inside a sliced Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut. To enhance the sweet and savory effect, the sandwich is served with a side of Smucker's honey sauce.

Deep fried Coca Cola
Beverages have entered the deep fried delicacy ring. Fried Coke is actually Coca Cola flavored batter that's been deep fried and garnished with Coca Cola syrup, whipped cream, and cinnamon sugar. Abel Gonzales, Jr. won Most Creative for this concoction at the 2006 State Fair of Texas.

Cheeseburger with fried ice cream:

I think this is deep fried battered bacon:

This is self explanatory:
All photos HuffPost

Some funny videos:

I've run this before, 
but I love it:


I think we need some cartoons
to settle our stomachs:


Avoid any food with the expiration date marked in Roman numerals----fishducky

Friday, December 8, 2017


She might be even more upset if she could remember her name!!

These are actual real couples. The images wouldn’t copy without a lot of massaging so I just copied the names, but if you have any doubt of their legitimacy, here’s a link to the slideshow that does show each couple’s photograph and/or their wedding announcement --they’re for real!! I just thought they were funny!!


Here are some others I found online:

I thought this was an interesting name for an African-American couple:

This unfortunate guy had a funny name all his life.

How would you fill out this RSVP?

Would this stop you from getting another drink at the wedding?

If you're happily married or (happily) not,
here's a whole bunch of cartoons for you:

I promise to laugh, heckle & make you chuckle until Google (or my memory) do us part----fishducky